


Out of His Hands

by Audlie45



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/M, I'm so sorry, Infidelity, Merlin does not get a happy ending, Merlin's Been Alive And Everyone's Getting Reincarnated, There's Hope Like There's Hope For Canon Merlin, i was really sad when I wrote this, super sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 18:06:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8170927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Audlie45/pseuds/Audlie45
Summary: Love finds Merlin and he allows himself to believe it could be something beautiful only to end up in a different role of his destiny.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry. I've been listening to Blue Jeans and got stupid sad and made a stupid sad story. Feedback is always welcome!

Merlin waited. He waited as long as his broken heart would allow him to, as long as he could without losing his mind. It was teetering on the edge of sanity by now; a thousand years later.

He met Ignes in the dead of winter. Her long blonde hair and soft blue eyes drew him into her warm embrace and their romance bloomed in the gray snow-laden countryside.

Love was unexpected. Merlin had had his share of romance--with men and women alike--over the centuries, but love was forbidden, a self-induced cage of the heart only for mortal men and women to share. 

If only she had listened when he told her he could never love. Instead, she heard it as a challenge and pressed on, and before Merlin knew what was happening, he was in so deep he couldn’t see the impending disaster.

He told her of who he was. He couldn’t lie to her any more than he could deny his burning love for her. He had no choice, and after a time she learned to accept it. She promised to love him as long as he loved her, even while she grew older without him.

They married three springs after that first winter and Merlin’s bittersweet vows cut through his heart, tearing at his devotion for Arthur and his love for Ignes.

When Ignes became pregnant, Merlin was confused. He’d never been fertile. All other relations with women had never resulted in offspring. When he buried himself in his thoughts and confusion, Ignes fell into a depression, believing Merlin hated her. He quickly quelled those thoughts, assuring her it must be meant to be.

Half way through the pregnancy he noticed something wasn’t quite right. There was a cold, oppressive energy coming off of Ignes despite her warmth and affection, but he let it pass.

“M-Morgana.” Merlin breathed out as Ignes lay gasping in her own sweat, holding their dark-haired, green-eyed child. He could feel her magic and dark destiny and he understood that something was going wrong.

“That’s a lovely name, Merlin. It fits her perfectly.”

Merlin became distant and wary of Morgana. She was an infant but he knew what was being made and it scared him. He remembered all the times he’d let her slip between his fingers only for her to survive and destroy everything he loved. Her omnipresent destiny hung over his head when her first birthday came and she showed signs of magic.

Despite all this, Ignes was the perfect mother, nurturing and supportive. She couldn’t help but notice Merlin’s reaction to their child. Their relationship became strained and Merlin could see no way of mending it.

When Ignes decided to work, Merlin protested. She needn't work. He had enough money to support them for the rest of their lives, but Ignes insisted that she couldn’t remain idle anymore and needed something to keep her busy.

On Morgana’s second birthday Merlin finally met Ignes’ boss and everything suddenly became clear.

Uther was younger than he could ever remember seeing him, and Morgana was instantly taken with him.

Merlin played the doting house husband with a permanent smile on his face while his internal organs restlessly churned at the realization that he was once again apart of a destiny he had no say in. A destiny intent on decimating his life to a withering dust.

He noticed the change and could do nothing to stop it. Later nights at work, out of town business trips and poorly hidden marks.

Morgana was growing up and loved him dearly. He was terrified of her but she was still his blood. His daughter and the only relative he’d had in over a thousand years. He knew he’d never be able to kill her if the time came.

And then Ignes became pregnant again.

Merlin knew. He just knew it was Arthur. He could feel the golden glow of his destiny’s other half and connection growing inside the womb of his own wife. Born of sin to become the greatest king the world could ever ask for, the greatest man Merlin had ever known.

He let Ignes leave without a fight. He demanded nothing of her which only made her cry every night for her heart’s betrayal. She claimed to love Merlin still but Uther’s lust was apparently a raging passion that she couldn’t deny.

She whispered Merlin’s name into the empty hospital room as her heart stopped beating, less than a day after Arthur was born.

Uther steamrolled through and claimed it was Merlin’s fault that she was dead. That he was as unfit a parent as he was a husband, and Merlin hadn’t enough fight in him to retaliate. He lost Ignes, Morgana and Arthur.

He was alone once again but only until his destiny was ready to cross paths with the other side of his coin and begin the epic tale of his past life, in a new setting, with new perils and old enemies.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. Kill me if it's bad enough because I'm already crying to myself about poor Merlin's predicament. I used the name Ignes because I didn't want her name to be so obviously Ygraine or else Merlin would have turned tail immediately and this sad mess wouldn't have happened... So yeah.


End file.
